Eric Karns

I was joking with Mary this morning that if we have kids I will be forming a family band and we will be traveling all over the midwest performing, just like the Jackson Five did. I told her she would have to play the tambourine (which she didn’t like to hear) and she said I was too controlling. So I asked her “What do you want to play?” and she said “the piano!” - so I said “I play the piano, and we can’t have 2!!” so she said “Ok I will play the flute.” Which I thought was a pretty good compromise.

I’m hoping that around the time our band is formed the cyclical nature of the music industry will be heading back towards the Motown sound because that would work perfectly with our ensemble. We will also be wearing skin tight, nylon suits which will have many tassels and look fabulous! Glitter may become an issue because of the glue used to adhere it to the skin, and I’ll bet my kids will have sensitive skin… but then again in the future there will be non-toxic adhesives which are conducive to every-day use on the skin and probably hypo allergenic too so that probably won’t be an issue…

I INSIST ON EAR PLUGS for all members of the band as well because the bass of the future will be EXTREMELY damaging to the ears, what with the 4th and 5th dimensions being discovered which will bring a whole set of issues in the music world. 5.1 Dolby surround sound will be a thing of the past and I’m not sure yet what will take its place.