Eric Karns

I’m currently working on a project for an unnamed Fed. agency in downtown DC. The problem is, this particular agency sticks all its contractors in a satellite office that must cost somewhere between .001 and .002 cents a square foot for office space. I am dead serious.

This floor I am on is absolutely off the charts nasty. The bathroom smells worse than the nastiest roadside gas station commode you have ever experienced. The walls haven’t been cleaned in at least 300 hundred years and the carpets look & smell like they were installed in 1934. On top of the wonderful accommodations, there is a security badging system which allows you in and out of the floor. Since I am not on the project long enough for them to go through the trouble of getting me a badge, I often get stuck in the elevator hallway knocking on the doors until someone who knows me will let me in. I even got stuck in the elevator hallway during a fire drill for over 15 minutes… with the alarm right next to my ear. On that particular day I had had it and left the office shortly after.

BUT, there IS good news. The contrast between the third world building I am in and the adjacent-connected luxury hotel is enough to keep the spirits up. In fact, If the office gets to you too much you might consider a hollywood style suicide out the office window, through the hotel foyer atrium and into the hotel fountain. I have often contemplated this myself… above is a photo of the atrium I can see below my window.