Eric Karns

Last night I went to the Pentagon City mall to find some Spring shirts. I am not a big fan of shopping, so I usually try to bust in bust out and make it as painless as possible. However, even the smallest of tasks can become a shining moment in the life of Enrico Karnesian.

Luckily for me, I remembered my parking ticket so I could prepay, in the mall, before I exited the parking ramp. So far, so good.

As I approached the pre=pay parking machine I noticed it had a crowd of tourist from some Spanish speaking country crowded around it - and everyone was trying to see how the “locals” handled the machines.

So I smiled at the crowd and thought… this is it… this is my big moment! I’ve got FANS!!!

I stuck my ticket in, waited for it to process and ask me to “insert your credit card with the stripe face up.” … this is where it got sticky. I inserted my card and started to notice that it was taking quite a long time to process. The crowd looked on in amazement… I still wasn’t sweating it, I know these things can take time. A few more seconds and still nothing. Suddenly, a large red X appeared on the screen and said MACHINE ERROR. The crowd booed and hissed in unison… one woman yelled “It taking his cuurd!”

At this point I had to contain my rage - this was after all a brand new card I’d JUST had replaced after losing the other one. I knew that the ramifications of cancelling the card again was going to screw up my reoccurring car, insurance, gym membership, netflix, payments etc. - and I did NOT want to go through that again.

I noticed there was a button on the machine to press for “Assistance”. I pressed for a good 3 minutes to no avail. Finally, after not wanting to have to resort to brute, American, man-handling, especially in front of the tourists… I decided I’d had enough….

So… I punched that mother fucker right in the sweet spot next to the credit card slot… and VOILA! Out came my card.